Joe's Sub Station - Hazard, Kentucky!

Happy Halloween, everyone!  Hopefully this finds each of you doing well as you prepare for your haunts, tricks, and treats tonight.  I know I personally can't wait, my love of Halloween rivals that of my love for Christmas, so my expectations are running pretty high today!.  Nevertheless, it's time for some food, right?  Nothing sends the spooky season into overdrive quite like some good eatin'  Let's get right down to it.


I'm finally getting to review a place that has made quite a name for itself since it opened only a few short years ago.  Joe's Sub Station is a unique addition to the Eastern Kentucky landscape, particularly here in the Appalachian/coal fields area.  It's physical address is a total mystery, because I honestly don't know where Hazard city limits end, where the town of Jeff technically even is, or if it's actually in Vicco.  I just know to look for the sign on Route 15.  And you should, too, because this place is worth a stop off the main drag!

Seriously, you can't miss it.

I'd gotten word a few days prior that there was going to be a bit of a special event going on, a "Tap Takeover", as it was referred to, by Country Boy Brewing Co.  There were going to be drink specials, food specials, and live music.  If you pass something like that up, then it's your own fault.  So, I hopped into my ole trusty car and headed over to Hazard...or Vicco.  Maybe Jeff.

Yes, this was two weeks ago.  I've been busy.  Sue me.

 I arrived at around 7 pm, just in time for things to start to kick off.  The weather was pretty nice that evening, but the temp was dropping fast.  Very nice October evening, for sure.  I had to park along side the road because the parking area was already filling up.  I entered and was greeted by some nice signage displaying what all was going to be happening that evening.  Always a nice touch to be greeted up front with what you're about to get yourself into. 

See?  Food and drinks for all!

 So I read and looked to the left, and there was a family style, old most classic diner type room.  I assume it's the overflow area, in case business gets too heavy on the other side.

I like it, more room is always good.

To the right of the entrance, however, was a whole different story.  To the right, was where all the magic was happening.  So, I chose right.  The blue pill, if you will.

I chose wisely.

Very, very wisely.

I'm a virtual hillbilly SAGE!!

 Seriously, the ambiance and decor of this place is off the hook.  It's a rare combination of modern, and that special brand of Appalachian rustic.  It's hard to describe, but this place has captured that spirit flawlessly.  Notice the lights in the above picture, to the left of the giant video screen and above the tin roof?  (See?  "video screen" and "tin roof" are generally two things that don't appear in the same sentence)  Those lights are actually made out of old bottles.

Not something you see everyday, if ever.  Especially beside of a state of the art video projector.

I finally sat down.

Quite a selection, for sure.

 After I finally finished drooling over the decor, I finally sat down to order some grub.  As you can see, their line up is pretty extensive, ranging from pizzas to subs to prime rib to everything else.  I was getting hungry, which at this point I assume you realize is nothing new.  For those of you keeping track, I've been "hungry" since February.  But anyway, as I sat down, a very nice lady came and took my order, and all I had to do was set back and give it a little time.  I got to hear some of my favorite classic rock tracks playing during this time, so it was time certainly not wasted.  "Sweet Emotion", and "All Right Now" always make for good time killers, and certainly added some enjoyment and flair to the already super cool ambiance. 







My wait was a little long, a bit longer than expected.  They were busy, and not just moderately busy.  REALLY busy.  So, in times like this, it's perfectly understandable.  My stomach and brain tend to disagree on this issue, but it's cool.  Just more time to look around and jam out.

And I would have otherwise never noticed this giant tentacle over in the corner.

Or this shirt with a clever innuendo advertising how big Joe's Deck is.  Also, we currently do seem to be in Jeff, Ky.

Joe's Deck is quite large.  I'm amazed he could fit it all - ok I'll stop.

After a few minutes, I found my way back to my seat, and actually began chatting with a few people I'd gone to high school with.  They had found their way out here as well, so it was cool to see them and to catch up somewhat.  The server brought me a refill of ice water, and immediately afterward, another server brought my food.

Oh dear.

This was one of those moments where I generally felt concern.  Were my eyes bigger than my stomach?  Did I have a very poor sense of judgement when I walked in earlier?  Oh well, this could be the greatest mistake of my life.

What you're actually looking at here, are deep fried cheese balls with what I assumed was house made ranch sauce for dipping, "Seaside Fries", which are classic Waffle Fries with sea salt and a touch of Old Bay, and a "Classic Philly", complete with sauteed peppers, onions, mushrooms (by request) and some of that ooey- gooey liquid gold.  Eight million calories of awesome.  I couldn't wait to tear into this stuff.

I had to try one of these first, no question.

Then one of these beauties.

Then....ah yeah.

Very deserving of two shots. 

The cheese balls were fried to a golden crisp.  That means there was a slight crunch when I bit in to it, and the center was very cheesy and moist.  Not dried out at all.  This is a very hard thing to pull off, because if something like that is fried for mere seconds too long, it loses on all fronts.  Dry inside, burnt outside, cheese trying to escape out the sides.  Not here, no sir.  Fried to perfection.

The Seaside Fries were much of the same.  Golden, crispy outside, fluffy inside.  The sea salt and slight sprinkle of Old Bay gave these a different twist that was refreshing.  Fries are good, but they tend to get boring, so a little twist occasionally is very welcome, and these were certainly no exception.

The Classic Philly cheese steak was out of this world.  It was honestly one of the best Philly's I'd ever had, and I'm quite the connoisseur.  The bread was toasted, so it had that nice texture, while still being soft on the inside.  The steak was plentiful, shaved, and piled high.  No fat or gristle to be found here, and the onions, peppers, and mushrooms were all sauteed very well.  The cheese is the classic liquid cheese you generally find with Nachos at festivals and ball games.  This is actually among the two cheeses used for a genuine Philly steak sandwich.  Sure you can use any kind of cheese you wish, but the real deal uses either Cheese Wiz, or nacho cheese.  The way it seeps down through every crevice of the sandwich to fully engulf it with cheesy goodness is something that is simply missing if you use sliced cheese for a sandwich like this.  It was sensational.

I regret nothing.  NOTHING.

I was full and happy, and those are two feelings that anyone, at any given time, are fortunate to be able to experience.  Joe's Sub Station is not your typical 'bar-n-grill' place by any means, and I would certainly recommend it to anyone.  If they get even half the satisfaction that I did during my visit, then they're in for something special.  I continued to mingle a little bit, talking to some old acquaintances and so forth.  I was still honestly taking in the ambiance.  I was very impressed with the Halloween decor as well, which is something I haven't mentioned yet.  I love a good festive place that acknowledges the holidays that are going on around them.  It adds a lot to the experience.  I was also, upon further inspection, really impressed with the bar design. 

Seriously, this is only part of it.

It's a zigzag design with a lot of cool lighting, and some top shelf stuff, a lot of which, of course, is made right here in good ole Kentucky!

I was almost ready to leave, when something suddenly occurred to me.  There was still live music to come!  How could I have forgotten something like that??  Good food does that to you.  It puts you into a state of poor judgement and idiocy, far worse than any alcohol could.  So, I hung around for a bit longer, as the guys stated to set up for their performance, and....

.....honestly, how many times have you heard "Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen played live?  If your answer to that question is anything other than "not nearly enough", then you're wrong.










Ok guys, let's recap.  For a reminder of how I do this, check back to my very first blog entry here:

Food Quality:  As I stated earlier, the food here was top notch.  The deep fried cheese balls were golden, crisp, gooey on the inside.  The Seaside Fries were the same way, with a touch of sea salt and Old Bay seasoning thrown into the mix.  Very good.  The cheese steak was toasted, shaved thin, piled high, with great add-ons.  The cheese was dead on and required for that authentic quality.  Everything was good, and I had literally no complaints.

Overall Food Quality Score:  4.5/5





Ambiance:  I went on and on about the decor earlier.  They were very festive with all the Halloween decorations, and all the normal decor was great as well.  Tin signs adorned the walls, the lighting was cool and modern, there were large projector screens, there were lights made of old bottles, the furniture was clean and of a high quality, and the bar itself was a visual marvel with its zigzag pattern.  As large as this place is, it was still a little cramped at times, especially once the large crowds started coming on.  But, that can't be helped and to a degree is to be expected.  Plus, there's an overflow area I highlighted earlier to the left of the entrance.  The classic rock playlist was great, playing familiar, cool tunes throughout the evening.  The deck out back was really cool as well.  Very nice add-on.  The live music was stellar.  Very talented guys.

Overall Ambiance Score:  4.5/5






Cleanliness:  This place was clean, pure and simple.  Even the bathrooms were fully stocked and clean.  That's something that's nearly impossible to pull off during such a rush and with such a crowd.  Everything was simply clean.  No further observation needed.

Overall Cleanliness Score:  5/5





Service:  The servers were very friendly and attentive.  They were slammed that night, and were still be able to keep their cool and be timely and professional.  At a distance, the bartenders appeared to be the same way.  My food took a little while to get to me, longer than normal, anyway.  Typical order time is around 14-16 minutes for the main course, and my wait time was right around 25 minutes.  They were tending to a special event crowd on that night, so service was certainly a bit slower, and that is no big deal to me.  As I said earlier, it gave me time to mingle a bit, and check out some of the decorations and listen to some of the music.  No harm, no foul.

Overall Service Score:  4/5 






Joe's Sub Station is yet another gem hidden within the Appalachian landscape.  If you're ever in the area, or ever traversing route 15 between Whitesburg and Hazard, stop in and give this place a try.  It'll be time well spent! Thanks for reading, and be safe tonight!

Holcomb's Custard Stand - Isom, Kentucky

Holcomb's Custard Stand - Isom, Kentucky

Happy Labor Day!  Welcome back to my little corner of the internet, where this time I found myself heading over to the small, unincorporated town of Isom, in Letcher County, Kentucky.  It was a random trip, not at all planned or anything.  Friday finally showed it's beautiful face, and I decided to make a quick trip over to Whitesburg and pop into Roundabout Music, just for a little something to do.  Afterward, I headed back in the general direction of Knott County, when I suddenly realized it was now officially Labor Day weekend, and in this part of the world, that means one thing...Isom Days.  I figured I'd stop in, if only for a few minutes, and see what was going on.


I walked around for a few minutes, looked at some crafts and listened to a few songs being played at the stage, and watched as they prepared for the now famous Isom Days Rodeo (seriously, everyone comes to this thing).  I was honestly pretty tired, and it was hotter than blue blazes, as it has been almost EVERY DAMN DAY since May.  If you find yourself disagreeing with that statement, then you're either a shut in with an exceptional air conditioner and no access to weather information, or you live on the Arctic Shelf somewhere, with no access to weather information.  It's been a scorcher. 


So, I figured I'd seen most of what the fair was offering that evening, and since it was around supper time, I would treat myself to a little something, it being Friday and all.  I saw this as a perfect opportunity to try something out that I'd heard so much about for so many years, but somehow never got to try myself.  Yes, you read that correctly...I live in the general area, and I've never eaten at Holcomb's Custard Stand.  There's no legitimate reason for this, and goodness knows I haven't purposefully tried to avoid it.  It just somehow never happened...until now. 

First approach.

Appearances can be deceiving, especially if you're the type of pretentious knob who turns their nose up and drives by such places.  This isn't some 4 star ball room with snobby waiters and fancy indoor plumbing, no sir.  This is the genuine article.  This is an authentic order-at-the-window and eat-where-you-can-sit Dairy Bar, and there aren't many left.  Anywhere.  Even here.  Holcomb's is one of the last privately owned "mom n' pop" type establishments of this type that I'm aware of.  It's a shame too, because many of my childhood memories involve visiting places like this and getting amazing food and service.  It's a dying industry, but this place stands defiant against the odds, just like many other businesses in Isom. 

There's clearly been many, many people served at this window.

I approached the above window, and a very nice young lady greeted me and asked me what I'd like.  Not wanting to sound stupid, I pretended to know what I wanted as I quickly scanned the hand written menus hanging in the front windows.  She knew I was full of it.  So, I kept looking, and looking at all the great menu items they had.  It made the decision very difficult.

Very difficult.

 


This is one of those places that, though small, has so many different options to choose from.  It's like a concession stand on steroids, and that's the hallmark of these types of places.  Great variety, low prices.  But when you're getting hungrier by the minute, it makes the task all the more daunting.

Must...resist....must....eat dinner first.

After the longest 3 minutes of my life, and probably the longest 3 minutes of that poor girl's life who very patiently waited on me to answer, I finally decided on something.  As I said, this wasn't simple.  But, when trying something new, I generally try to get some kind of signature dish, as good as everything else may sound.  I've heard various stories over the years about what's best here, but I've never heard anything about a signature dish of any type.  It's a free for all, but I finally noticed something that kind of stuck out to me.

I couldn't pass up something called an "Isom Burger", no matter the options.

The Isom Burger Box is a burger, topped with bacon, cheese, and a fried egg.  On the side, you get a big order of shoestring fries and coleslaw.  I opted for extra fries rather than slaw, because honestly, I'm not a fan.  I know that must be some form of 'Hillbilly blasphemy', and I'm sorry if it is, but it's the truth.  I just don't care for it.  Extra fries for me, all the way.  She took my order with a smile, and said it would be ready very shortly.  I then picked out a table.

Ok, the only table.

I sat there, and just took in my surroundings.  It was a beautiful start to the weekend, with the sun getting ready to set over a hill off in the distance.  I watched passers by, walking down the road, as the fair was only down the street about 500 feet or so.  So many kids and adults alike, just enjoying their time together at a small town festival.  You have to love that.  I could also hear a train, undoubtedly hauling some 'black gold' slightly off in the distance as well.  I was witnessing "Eastern Kentucky" in one collective spot, as I sat there, waiting on my order.  It was an honest revelation at that very moment.  I just kind of smiled.  After a mere 8 or 9 minutes, she called my name, and my order was ready.  $7.59 later, and I was more than ready to dig in and savor every bite.  Again, it has been a very long day, and I was starved out at this point.






  

Don't even act surprised.

 

Oh my...yes, and YES.

The smell was amazing.  I guess a big ole burger and a pile of fresh crispy fries can't smell any other way, but still, it was intoxicating.  I squeezed my ketchup out of my little packets, and was ready to chow down. 






 

YUM.

 

Crisp on the outside, soft in the middle.  The way God intended.

 

Check out those layers.....drool....

 

Ok last one, I promise.

The burger was fantastic.  The patty was nice and juicy.  It was the pre-pressed variety, but that's fine.  It was well seasoned and cooked nearly to perfection.  The bacon was as real as it gets.  Nice and thick, cooked thoroughly, and hit a nice middle ground somewhere between soft and crispy.  Perfect.  And the egg...ohh boy.  I was put off once upon a time at the thought of an egg being on my burger.  It just didn't sound good to me, not appetizing at all.  One day, I talked myself into it, and I never looked back.  It's an amazing flavor and texture combination, and I recommend it to anyone, especially if you had the same notions as I once had.  This one was no exception.  It was cooked perfectly, with only a very slightly runny yolk, just enough to give it moisture, and to release the flavor.  I was pleased.

The fries were great as well.  They were standard shoe string fries, but they were really good.  They were fried the right amount of time at the right temperature.  That isn't always an easy thing to do, and they nailed it. 

I enjoyed every bite, took in the scenery around me, and pondered on dessert.  And by "ponder", I mean "I'm definitely getting something but I have no idea what".  I walked back over to the window, and again was indecisive. 






 

Because yes, there's an entire other dessert menu separate from the above hand dipped ice cream one.  An already impossible task has now just reached improbable levels.

This wasn't going to be easy, and I sure wasn't going to skip out.  You can't go to a dairy bar and not get ice cream of some type.  It's a law.  I looked and looked, pondered and pondered.  Everything looked good, and as hot as it was, any of it was going to feel pretty good going down.  I just couldn't decide....that is, until I seen something.  I don't know how I saw it, because it isn't on the menu.  Somehow, I just knew.  I knew to look past the menu...through the glass.  That's when I saw it.  With thine own eyes and thine own heart, I saw it; something....












 

...extraordinary.

I could have cried.  It would have been silly, but warranted.  I could have laid down right there in that parking lot, with all of Letcher County walking past me, and just sobbed.  I just found, for the first time in decades, Superman Ice Cream.  I just found my childhood.  I just found Summer in the 80s.  I just found Saturdays at the old Hindman Mi-Dee-Mart.  I just found after school at the long gone Brinkley Dairy Bar.  I felt like Indiana Jones after he found the Arc. 

The world could have ended at this moment, and I would have had no regrets.

I savored every bite.  I sat there, and felt sorry for anyone not eating Superman Ice Cream at that moment in time.  I knew, at that moment, life was grand, and everything was going to be ok.  That's the power it wields.



Holcomb's Custard Stand is a gem hidden in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains.  How I managed to miss this place for this many years is something I'll never know, and surely something I'll have to atone for later.  I very much enjoyed it.  I enjoy Isom in general, it's a neat little town with lots of small wonders, antique stores, and beautiful rustic views.  It's also just down the road from where current UFC women's superstar Jessamyn Duke was born and raised.  How's that for a little bit of trivia?


I've found another favorite eatery, right here, close to home.  It was right under my nose, and though I had always heard about it, I just never made my way over to check it out.  I'm glad I did, and I'm glad I can share some of these adventures with you, no matter where you may be.  I'm proud to be a Kentuckian.  We're a proud people in general, and many share my love for this area. 



Many may do so....but there's one in particular.  One person who has no qualms about laying it all on the line, and showing the world what we have to offer.  One person, who is always the first in line to shine a spotlight where so much darkness can sometimes lurk.  One person...that has graciously agreed to join me next time around.


Hopefully, she'll bring the Bourbon. 

The End of an Era - Smokey Valley Truck Stop, Olive Hill, Kentucky

Do you have any idea how many times I've seen this sign?  How many times my headlights have illuminated it at midnight, or 1 a.m.....maybe even 2 or 3 a.m?  It's incalculable.  What's even more amazing, is that I was never alone.  There was always a sizable group with me, and it was almost never planned.  More than once, there was an entire caravan of no less than 40 people.  Very few places have that kind of power.  The power to pull you 21 miles away from town, at the latest possible hour, with classes the next morning.  It didn't matter.  NONE of that mattered once our headlights hit that sign. 




I can remember being confused at first.  I was a younger lad who had just found his place and his clique at Morehead in the very first days of the 2000 Fall semester.  I thought I misunderstood at first, but I hadn't.  "A...truck stop?  Like, with gas and stuff?  Wha...why?  Olive Hill??  Where's that??"  I thought they were pulling my leg.  But they had all been before...just as the elders before them had introduced them, I was now getting the same treatment.  I had no clue what I was in for.  I had no clue my life was about to change.  I had no clue that for the next 5 years, what bonds I would make at those old wooden tables. 




The Smokey Valley Truck Stop is a staple of Morehead State University.  It isn't even in the same town, but for decades, college students, and of course the locals, have frequented this place with glee and anticipation.  Would you drive 20 miles out of the way for dinner?  Well, thousands of people have hundreds of times.  It's sensational, and I was looking forward to someday getting to share a place that not only has some of the best food I've ever eaten, but a place that me and my crew, along with I'm sure countless others, have a genuine connection to.  Note, that I said I WAS looking forward to doing this....until about a month ago...when I got the news.




On October 3rd, 2015,  this place will be closing its doors for the final time.  Upon hearing this, my heart sank, and I had to literally fight back tears.  This isn't the first time we have received this news, either.  A fire nearly gutted it in 2003 and it was forced to close for about 6 months, but it survived and bounced back better than ever.  In 2012, several of us had gotten word that it was going to close due to an issue regarding the water lines, and which entity had jurisdiction over them.  Again the issue was resolved.  So this time, we all had hope that maybe, possibly, it was just a rumor with similar details...but no. Not this time.  It was real.  It was happening.



Upon hearing the news, we gathered those of us who still remained in the general area for one last rendezvous.  This wasn't easy.  We're in our 30s, we have careers, families, and very little spare time.  What once would have been a spur of the moment outing with 30+ people was now, all these years later, reduced to less than 10 of us with 2 weeks of planning.  Yay for growing up.  But, it still happened.  We all drove separately.  Alone.  It gave each of us time to think about what we were doing, and WHY. 




When the above sign finally came into sight, for probably the 500th time, it presented a different feeling than it ever had before.  It was very somber...almost hopeless.












But then....once I hit the exit and immediately made that next famous right hand turn, I saw this.  I saw why I was here.  I suddenly remembered things I thought I had long forgotten.  I guess in a way, I had.

Then...there it was.  Very rare that I ever saw it in the daytime.  But the red shingles were always ever present.  The Smokey Valley Truck Stop.




We all met at relatively the same time, give or take 15 minutes.  Emotions were mixed, as expected.

Even the old crappy CB repair shop was giving me the feels.

We entered, barely a word spoken, and we just kind of looked around.  It was busy, as usual, but it's safe to assume that this time around, it was because word had gotten out about the upcoming closing. 

These people will later appreciate this picture, I'm sure of it.

So will they.

:)

If you haven't picked up on it yet, the Smokey Valley Truck Stop looks like...a truck stop.  The chairs and tables are made of wood, with a few smaller ones being the exception.  The decor is old Americana style, with hutches and plates adorning the walls.  The fire of '03 forced a slight remodel, but aside from a few superficial details, most of it still remains the same. 

"Most", not "all".  We've had our fair share of laughter at that one over the years.

The remainder of my company arrived shortly after I did.  We got our 'usual' table.  It was surreal to sit there, in the same place where so many meeting and conversations between us had once taken place.  we greeted one another, hugs and handshakes all around, when the server came over and handed out the menus.

Happiness soon took over.  Wait...what's that say towards the bottom?

Ohh yeah, that's right.  This place is so good it once made it on the Food Network.






Seriously.  Give it a watch.

THE greatest pancakes, omelets, and gravy n biscuits known to mankind.

THE greatest everything else known to mankind.

 Ordering is often difficult in general, but how on Earth do you decide what to get for your final meal?  I felt like I was on death row.  I half expected the waitress to bring me a cigarette and a blindfold.  I've had nearly everything on this menu at some point, and there is absolutely no possible way to make a choice like this.  do I go with breakfast?  Those pancakes that I've shamelessly stuffed my face with countless times?  The Taco Salad?  The world famous Smokey Valley Burger?  Could I even finish it if I tried it (again)?  No, my friends.  None of those would do.  After much thought and consideration, I came to the conclusion that only one meal would do.  Only one combination of culinary perfection could possibly be chosen under these circumstances.

I think I'm going to cry.

There's no doubt what so ever that this, in all it's glory, is my all time favorite thing to get at the truck stop.  I've ordered it more times than anything else.  As amazing as the other meals are, this one will put a smile on my face every time.  EVERY time.  What you're looking at here, are two hot dogs, on fresh soft yet toasted buns, with a home made chili sauce that has yet to be rivaled by anyone.  I mean ANYONE.  Skyline be damned.  Gold Star can suck it.  This is the real deal.  This is in-house, top secret recipe, made Guy Fereri from Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives do cartwheels in the parking lot, out of this world stuff.  I have no earthly idea what's in it.  I've asked in the past, and they wont tell me.  It's a combination of hearty and sweet with a hint of bold onion-y spice.  It's perfection on an all beef wiener, (which I'm pretty sure is deep fried).  To the left, you see something that is just as much a staple of this place as the aforementioned Smokey Valley Burger itself.  Those are fried potato skins topped with cheese and bacon, with a side of house made ranch dressing.  Real cheese, real ranch, and real bacon.  Not Fakeon.  BACON.  And if you've never had fried potato skins before, then do yourself a favor.  Go RIGHT NOW to the nearest place that you can get a potato.  Go to Walmart, Costco, your mom's house, that awesomely weird gas station down the road that sells chicken feed and that for some reason has a box of garden taters on sale in the middle of the floor for 25 cents a piece, wherever you can get one, go get one.  Bring it home, peel it, and throw the skins into a deep fryer for about 5 minutes.  Your life will change drastically.  They wont be nearly as good as they are here, though.  We need to be realistic.




That was only what I ordered.  What did everyone else order, you may ask?

You knew that was coming.  If you're at all familiar with this place, you know that actual odds of someone in a group NOT ordering the Smokey Valley Burger are astronomical.  It was a given.  Oh and look, more tater skins! 

Some home cooking just hit the mix.  Salisbury Steak, garden green beans, buttered sweet corn, and homemade mashed potatoes and gravy.  Holy cow.  Literally.  Anything else?

Oh.  Ohh dear.  What?
I don't even know.  This isn't on the menu.  I don't even know what it would be called even if it was on there.  Chris, you're a brave soul.  Let us know if you survived.




Anywho, back to my food.  The hot dogs, as I said, are on a fresh soft bun, with the actual wiener, I think, deep fried.  I know that sounds weird, and the more health conscious of you reading this probably just hyperventilating.  But, trust me.  It's wonderful.  It gives it a good 'snap' when you bite in to it. 

See?  Look at it.  LOOK.

I can't say anything more about the chili sauce that I haven't already.  I can tell you this though.  It's the perfect topper to this hot dog.  The combination of flavors in your mouth when you bite into this is the sort of thing that poets muse about, and causes great minds to wax philosophic.  It's that good. 

LOOK AT IT.

And those bacon-cheese tater skins I was gushing about earlier?

Honestly, what else can you say.

Nothing.  Nothing else can be added.

We chowed down.  We laughed.  We told stories of yesteryear.  We reminisced about friends who have passed on.  We talked about life.  Death.  All things in between.  We talked about where we are now, and where we once were.  We talked about where we will be in the future, long after this place falls to the ground. We talked about adventures and misadventures, midnight excursions to Lockeegee Rock, to the Mushroom Mines, to the Cave Run Spillway.  We talked about how all those things inevitably ended us right back here. We did it just like we always did before.  At our table. 

All the while "Jack and Diane" and "Chip Away at the Stone" played for the 11 millionth time on this jukebox.

And while Donkey Kong rolled his 11 millionth barrel down the ramp.

And while Chris ATE THE WHOLE THING. 

We pondered on dessert...for about 5 seconds.  Then we realized we were dumb for pondering because of course we were getting dessert.

Ladies and Gentlemen...the Smokey Valley Hot Fudge Brownie.

I could eat two...but I wont.

This bad boy is a fresh baked chocolate brownie, topped with shaved (yes shaved) real vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, steaming hot fudge, and a maraschino cherry.  It's as good as it sounds, and it's as good as it looks.  This is another perennial favorite of this place, and it's near impossible to avoid getting one.  Or, at least a bite of someone's, if you're already stuffed.




We sat there for nearly 3 hours.  None of us wanted to pull ourselves away, and bid farewell to a place that means so much to all of us, and to many more who unfortunately couldn't make it on this final adventure with us.  They were very much missed.  As we continued to trade stories of past and present, of jobs, of children, of friends departed, I couldn't help but to look back on things and simply smile.  Why else were we here if not to do so?  We've understood for many years now that this was more than just a 'truck stop' off the interstate in the middle of nowhere.  It's never been a question, really.  We all have a deep, almost spiritual connection with the very table we were sitting, and to the very walls holding the place up.  That's rare.  That's special.  That's the magic only a true college experience could possibly bring about all those years ago.  Perhaps we were all there, at that moment, for a greater reason.  Perhaps we weren't.  I do know, with confidence, that once we exit those doors, we're forever leaving behind a pivitol part of who we are. 

Of who we were.

      




I'm not even going to bother with the typical breakdown, or overall evaluation like I've done with my previous reviews.  There's no rating system in existence that can do this place justice.  No arbitrary number system that can quantify what we've experienced here over the years.  I'm not even sure if college students still frequent this place as they once did.  I honestly have no clue.  If they don't; if for some reason this place has been lost in translation over the years to the younger generation, I urge them to take an evening and make the trek out there.  I don't care how busy you are, or what you have planned.  Because right now, at this point, only one thing is certain.











The clock is ticking.